September

Early this month I quit my job. Nothing specific caused this decision, it was a normal day where I simply found myself drained of all willpower. The quiet passenger in my mind decided to speak up and take the wheel. I no longer wish to be beholden to something as trivial as making money for an ignorant wealthy few.

Furthermore, I have had to admit to myself that I have been somewhat abusing my stimulants. I have been so focussed on numbing myself and squeezing every ounce of energy out of my mind, that I have lost sight of my true motivations, how can I be sure I want to do the things I want to do, if everything is the same level of tolerable.

This rambling is simply context for my daily walks around my neighbourhood. I’ve found them to be profoundly comforting and enlightening at times. It’s as if an unknown source of energy is woken up from within as soon as my muscles are activated, and my eyes subjected to the ever-novel quality of light around me.

There is no back up plan. This is the contingency. Can I endure whilst tending to my most basic of needs? Sunshine. Sleep. Exercise. Companionship. The latter being a subject for my more personal journalling.

I believe that by being my genuine self, sharing what I have, loving the world, the world will love me back, and I will learn how little I truly need to be happy.